


can't get you out of my head or my closet

by bigmacandfries



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Lovers To Enemies, OC has powers, OC needs a hug, Self Insert, Then back to friends, little confusing but you'll get the jist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 08:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigmacandfries/pseuds/bigmacandfries
Summary: they found her, y/n, living on her own away from the world. enbridled with powers she didn't want or know how to control
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/Loki/Reader
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was 14 and angry. if you like it then you like but don't come for me but the has pretty much been entirely unedited. like at all
> 
> maybe some paragraph break but goddamn is Is it bad. have fun.

Born with power but only discovered during the chitauri new york attack with loki. Hit by a misfired shot if gold that triggered her painful transition, a giant ball of bright, white, light with her inside. When it was over and she was glowing sickly green she looked at what once was her apartment now seared and destroyed. She walked around the fallen pieces that was now her apartment to look in the mirror, hoping, praying nothing had changed. She was mislead and lied to by her hopes, her eyes now matched the green that was coming out of the outline of her bones. Not only her eyes but a thick line along her chin, she looked at it as if she was disgusting and not herself. It took her a day or two but she packed all of her things, drew money out from her cards, quit her job, and ran to the most secluded apartment she could find. She mourned the loss of her friends and family as she moved, her job too no less, business translation paid well and she was good at it. She hid away in her small little apartment, giving online teaching, it wasn’t high stake business deals but she had to hide away. During the last two years she had hidden away, taking this time to manage her abilities. It was quiet for two long good years, she got lonely and got a dog, a rescue named eddy. So, she was alone, with a dog, and was content. But, it lasted for less than 3 weeks, when there was an ominous knock at her door. Eddy lifted his head from the bed he had been sleeping on for the past hour and a half, and laid back down instantly, because a rescue had accustomed him to a home. Although, y/n was particularly shaken by the knock, she instantly grabbed sunglasses and a thick jacket and opened the door, with the chained still attached. 

Still looking like she lived in snow she spoke softly, “how may i help you?” she said timidly trying to hide her face. 

“Id hope you’d know me, my name is steve rogers, im an agent with shield. I was wondering if i could speak with you.” 

“Id like to say no, but i know what could happen. Would everyone else like to come in too? As stupid as i seem to be i know breathing when i hear it.” she heard a chuckle that did not resonate from steve. The figure waked out resembling no one other than the flamboyant fuck himself, tony stark. 

“I would actually, thank you for offering.” he stood behind rogers now with a smirk spread his goatee clad face. She sighed, she closed the door and took off the chain. She opened the door for the two men to fully enter the apartment.

“Coffee? I figure i might as well be nice since this may be my last hour free.” she said going through the kitchen to open the windows. “ you can sit at the coffee table i'll be there in a second, i dont figure my pajamas and winter clothes are appropriate for company.” steve and tony nodded. She left the room and put on a long sleeve shirt, pants and left on her sunglasses. She kissed eddy on the brow, in case she was taken away from him. While doing so she looked out the window and saw a shadow through the blinds. She shoved the blinds to the sides and saw a man dressed in all purple, perpendicular to the window with a bow and arrow in his hand. 

“Hey so um what the fuck? Are you here to protect them in case anything hits the wall?” he nodded in response. She rolled her eyes and walked back out, although eddy had a very strong eye on the man, he'd do anything to protect y/n. 

“ i met your purple friend, with the bow and arrow, how trustworthy you all truly are.” rogers looked down, seeming embarrassed.

“it's only for the best i guess, i don't blame you. Im dangerous i know this much, its what i’ve been hiding for so long. But that begs the question, how did you find me?” tony stark opened his mouth 

“ we found you through a scan, on december 20th, 2016, you gave a heat signature similar to a heater but you were shaped like a human.” he brought up the video on his see-through tablet. She watched in awe of how she looked under infrared light, she then turned a sharp blue. She took off her sunglasses, “And that was what truly caught us, no human, except cap in the icicle, is able to freeze that fast and survive. So, for the past two years we’ve been watching, making sure you weren't a killer or a monster o-” she cut him off, grabbing the coffee.

“ see, thats where youre wrong. I am a monster” she turned bright red along her bones and jaw “i have been ever since that day in new york im a fucking lava lamp .” she set down the two coffee mugs, cookies, sugar, and cream. Steve reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. 

“ dont touch it’ll burn.” steve retracted his hand. 

“Well since we did found you-” steve started,

“you're going to out me in handcuffs until you know what the fuck is wrong we with me. Right?” she finished. 

“No, we want to recruit you to shield, you'd be a useful protective team member. We've seen you use your protective platforms in action.” tony said pulling up a video of her protecting multiple people from a runaway truck with a drunk driver at the wheel. another protecting the heart of a shop owner being held up, then turning the metal of a bullet into a dagger stabbing the assailant in the thigh. In this same video she slams a fifty on the counter and walks over the body with her groceries in hand, muttering a ‘sorry’ for compensation for the smallest amount of change she might've missed with the fifty. 

“You've done all this on your own, without any interference you've protected people and enhanced your abilities, this proves your innocence and that you’re not a danger.” she looked down though the see-through table to look at her shoes. “ if you do join shield we wouldn't move you far, you'd move into stark towers with the other avengers, and be-” 

“Avengers? She said astonished “id not only be joining shield, but the avengers? Would protection be provided to my family?” steve nodded. “ and what about dogs? I can't leave my dog behind.” tony chuckled. 

“Dogs are more than welcome, whats their name?” She looked towards the room where eddy was currently sleeping, she called for him. 

“eddy, come greet the guests.” a heavy thump, and the clicking of nails brought the big grey dog to the coffee table. She grabbed a cookie as he sat down and gave it to him. He ate it quite fast, enjoyed it too. Tony was shocked he didn't expect a dog this big but it was okay nonetheless. She turned to a yellow, yet her eyes returned to their original color.

“So that's your happiness, your dog.” her colors mixed with purple and yellow. 

“I haven't been able to see my family in two years for their safety of course he’s my happiness, he’s a rain cloud that eats pizza, basically my childhood imaginary character.” steve laughed at that line. “ so, how soon can i join?” she asked. 

“Right now, i’m already having some of my friends move your things.” 

she raised her brow “Your friends?” 

“Not humans, robots. Hawkeye was only letting them in.” tony replied. 

“You could’ve just asked.” she said raising her brow again but with disapproval. 

“You opened the door with the chain still on, we didn’t know if it was gonna be a yes or no, or if your were going to attack us in defense, so here we are.” she nodded in response seeing the logic. “Besides if we drive there now in my uber fancy car your stuff will be in your room when we get there.” 

she nodded, “lets go then, eddy catch up baby.” she said getting his attention. “ oh tony i have a safe under the bed and a fridge in my closet, i just wanted to warn in advance.” he nodded and made sure on his tablet that they were taken care of. She walked down the stairs, putting on her sunglasses and light jacket, into the car and made her way with the two men and the dog to the new tower.


	2. the tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean it from here on out there's now paragraph breaks or taste. I warned you. I warned you from the future so you know it s serious

The car ride was slow and quiet until a minute or two in. “so, y/l/n, if you were trying to hide all of this time why would you save people? It essentially gave you away.” she looked up from where she usually looked, eddy lovingly soft grey back. “Its logic tony, i rather someone else be safe and some asshole gets whats coming to him, rather than save my own ass and let some poor man die. What kind a pretentious fuck cares about his own face rather than a life being rid of the world? The first time i saw crime happening and i had my powers i ran away and someone died later in the hospital and i watched from my comfortable couch like a rich prick.” tony mouthed ouch. “I didnt mean particularly to you tony, you actually donate quite a bit and try to aid the public as much as you can, what i mean is the aristocrical bastards that sit and watch while men drown and burn trying to keep the money in the banks. That's the one type of person i can't be, someone who sits idly by while others die. I can't be that type of person again.” her colors had gone from red to green to blue to grey, all in one sitting, because of one question. “Im sorry for the rant, i just want to see change.” steve nodded in agreeance. “Well i knew about the time you ran away, but that was only one instance and thats what decidedly changed you for good?” she nodded in response. “ i have countless videos of you saving people, they may be minor instances, but their helping the greater good. So, after my AI F.R.I.D.A.Y. had compiled a whopping 58 videos and ‘unseen savior’ files from this area, i figured it was finally time to invite a hero like you out capsicle and ol’ ironsides right here.” she chuckled at the funny name choice. “Have i really helped 58 people? I mean i belive you but i dont beleive myself.” she said after. “Here ill read this article ‘unknown vigilante saving the bronx while wearing heavy jacket, black scarf, and glasses, witness says she seemed to glow red even under multiple layers of clothes’ “ she tilted her head to the side, there was no doubt it was her, she remembered it even, y/n just had not taken into an account how she had affected that person's life. “You're a hero to these people in the bronx yet you've hidden away for two years, show a little skin, order a latte and revel in getting stared at for the right reasons.” steve said, she nodded and smiles. Because they had found she now had her freedom back, she now had the ability to see her parents and old friends again. 

The car came to a stop and eddy rolled forward slightly, catching himself with his big paws. Tony and steve got out first, almost as if they were announcing her presence, eddy climbed out last. eddy shook and y/n looked up the gloriously shiny, tall, building. “You ready to go in? “ steve said. “Yeah, sure.” she was worried and excited a mix of the two, it showed on her skin with purple and orange. They stepped into the building and immediately went to security, y/n was new and this was no excuse to be thrown out on her first day in the tower. After she was given a badge and an implant to watch location and health, she and the other two men entered the elevator taking them all up to the top. Silence was kept in the elevator, but every inch closer she became more and more purple, confusion and intrigue consumed her.neither steve or tony noticed because they were standing in front of y/n. She looked in the reflective metal on the side panel, seeing her purple complexion she tried to calm herself, bringing her to a white. The elevator door finally opened to smack in the face smell of caramel and tomato sauce, a mixture that was surprisinlgy delightful. The two men stepped out into what seemed like the general shared area. To her right an open dining area surrounded by several windows, the light shining in brightly showing its horizon. A few feet before that was the kitchen itself, there were two people currently working about, one taking cookies out of the over the other pouring parmesan into the sauce, they hadnt noticed her yet. To her left the was a pit with a tv on the far right wall , with a small decorative wall surrounded the couches with a see-through table in the middle, there were quite a few people watching The Office. “This is our new avenger, y/n Jones, say hi everyone!” y/n gave a small wave to everyone even remembering to turn to the kitchen to bow to them too. They all turned and waved, one person paused the show, “welcome to the tower, glad you’re here!” i smiled in response. “She’ll be less shy later i promise, ill show her to her room and we can all quiz her up and down at dinner.” a woman with auburn hair gave a hang loose sign, signaling her excitement to question me. “Follow me y/n” steve said. “I followed behind him, we went around the small pit of people and turned into a corridor with gray walls lined with a soft blue light. The doors that were down these halls were all decorated with different colors the first two that mirrored each other were red white and blue, the other red and black. The second pair were a dark fuschia and the other green and purple, the third red and gold the mirrored was black, green, and gold. The fourth black and gray the same to the mirrored, it mustve been confusing for those two at first. And then a lonley two on the end that werent decorated at all, there were no other doors beyond these two. Steve pointed to the one on the left, “this is yours, and now that you live here, we can decorate the outside light, which i assumed you’ve noticed. Although im not sure which colros i should pick considering you can change into all of them.” she smiled. “Then why not all of them? An interchanging rainbow.” steve nodded to the side, dissapointed in himself he didnt see the obvious. The door lit up with soft colors going along the border. “It only opens to your palm, but you can change that later if youd like and give access to certain people. From then on after you scan your palm F.R.I.D.A.Y. will instantly recognise you and eddy and let you in without any authorization.” she nodded taking in all of the information. She put her palm up to the plaque and the door slid to the left in less than a second, eddy scurried in and instantly laid down on the bed to rest. She walked in loving her new room a platform bust a ding a couple feet after the door, to the left a pit with her books and reading chair with a desk tucked into the corner . Before her was her bed surrounded by window except for two walls, one wall touching the back of the bed, the other holding a tv and built in shelve walls holding her gaming systems. Above her bed were more shelving holding most of her most prized trinkets and lived objects. “You missed the best part.” Steve said behind her still at the front door, her pointed to his left to show a doorway. She walked through to see a bath and shower and closet. The shower had a waterfall shower head, the bath was gigantic able to fit another person almost, to the left of that was a toilet separated by a wall. On the other wall a sink with a small amount of counter space but just enough for her to place everything. Another door was between the sink and the toilet there was a light that turned on once she entered, she stepped out and it turned off. She did this a couple times to have a laugh but once she truly entered it was filled with her clothes and her safe in the back corner. A borderless mirror on the back wall outlined by the hung up clothes. She turned back out, and left the bathroom. 

This experience is new to her, the entire room futuristic, new, it felt good. Her colors become yellow. “ so, what do your colors mean?” steve asked from the reading chair. “ the represent the current emotions i’m feeling. Like the yellow that i’m showing off lets others know that i’m happy, whereas blue would show that im sad but if im sad about loss it would be grey.” she looked up towards the ceiling, remembering the feeling of loss and turned gray. “And if i get really angry i turn into something entirely inhuman. Id rather not show that right now.” steve nodded. He got up from the chair, “well we’ll all be out there, watching the office, fairly new show i've heard, well at least its good.” she chuckled knowing it was a little old. “You guys should watch parks and rec, it's like the office only better.” he nodded while walking out. She looked around her, everything had changed. She was in a super advanced apartment surrounded by heroes. What does this mean for her. Who will she be? What would her name even be? What would her suit look like.   
Hopefully this would be decided later, and hopefully with her input. If tony made her like a rainbow on stilts there wouldn't be a suit by the end of the day. 

She decided to explore her room a bit more, looking to the bookcase, she say the robots that had brought her things in had organized it almost entirely alphabetically.They did it quite gorgeously, it was almost entirely perfect. Except for one book set on top, her mother’s diary. “Sorry for the misplacement ma’am, but it seemed personal.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said. “That's quite alright, i understand the difficulty.” it them became silent. She was ready to meet the people shed be staying with. She walked out of the room and into the hallway, seeing the lighted doors once more. Seeing her ever-changing colors made her smile a bit knowing she'd be accepted by her new roommates. She travelled down the hallway her heart beating faster every second, fear running through her just because she has to meet them. She turned the corner to see them in almost the exact same places except steve was in a corner of the couch and they weren't watching the office like the were, they were watching parks and rec now. Enjoying more than the office like they had. She leaned against the frame comfortable where she was and just watched the show, it had been one of her favorites. She fell into the comfort and suddenly the show stopped, causing her to look down. They had paused the show, and we all looking at her now. “Oh sorry i just love this one, it one of my favorites.” she smiled now standing straight. “I didn't mean to interrupt.” she apologized. “That’s alright, im natasha, otherwise known as black widow. Would you like to join us?” natasha said. “Im alright but thank you, i was wondering where the cups were so i could get myself some water.” she implied. “ oh its right over here! Behind me!” the girl who was bringing cookies out of the oven earlier said. ”my name is wanda maximoff and the red hunk of metal next to me is vision.” she said in a heavy russian accent. “ here ill get it for you, vision gets a little more focused when cooking than anything.” wanda chuckled. “I do not, i simply want the best for my pasta.” vision retorted. “Oh is that why im allowed in the kitchen when no one else is? Because im the best for your pasta.” he looked away. “Or something like that.” that line under his breathe gave y/n a chance to think. He was smitten with her and hopefully it woudl eb admitted soon. He kept sitrring the pasta and adding in different spices, but the way he looked at her through the edge of his eye, it gave out nothing but a sense of protection and care. She set down the cup of water in front of y/n, “thanks i appreciate it.” y/n said. She turned around to walk back to her room, yet the person she saw was almost traumatizing. He was clad with dark green and gold, wiht intense touches of black. It was loki, he was gorgeous like always but this is the same man that gave her these powers. She turned a bright green throughtout her outlines, she tried her best to keep calm but she then unfortunately dropped the glass that she had been holding causinf the attention to once again be drawn to her. Especially from the man who just came through the douuble doors that was the main cause of her dopping the glass, the main reason of her changing colors, the main reason of her feeling deep fear. “ y/n? Are you alright?” wanda said behind her. “ oh hello, are you the new girl in the tower?” she couldnt do anything but be frozen. “You, its you.” loki sighed at her response. “Are you starstruck already? Well be working together so i suggest you get over it quickl-” she interrupted his egotistical rant. “No, fucker, youre the shithead that turned me into a goddamn mood ring.” she said now outlined in green. Her gradient of the color hadnt appeared yet but she was scared that it would eventually. Loki’s eyebrows raised, he had turned this beautiful girl into this, a color changing monster, at least that what she thought. Loki was the trickster god so he had a multiple of power under his sleeve, a god should be expected of such things. One of his powers was the amazing ability to read mind and sense emotion, although with her its already shown to him. In the few seconds he had while he was talking he had already seen that she liked him, physically. Emotionally, she wanted to rip in half and feed the pieces to his father. That quote was verbatim from her thoughts, while he had miliseconds for her to finish off the word, he looked inside her past and how he had interfered. Although he got a glimpse he was interrupted by a large dog rushing past him to get to her, the beautifully green girl. She was afraid beyond all means of him, because what he could do to her. 

“I think I’ll take eddy for a walk, clear my mind and calm down a bit.” She said. Grabbed eddy’ leash from her pocket and clipped it to his collar. The room was quiet, it leaked with awkwardness. As she stepped into the elevator and the door began to close she turned towards the metal wall and landed her head against the wall. She pressed the button for the bottom floor, and started contemplating how she’ll have to avoid them forever, knowing that it isn't an actual possibility. As it slowly waded down, she started to feel another presence within the combined and small space that was the elevator, she turned towards eddy hoping it was only him but she then turned around again once more only to see loki, the one person she dreaded to see. “You know we will be living together for quite a while now, and i figured working this out between us secretly would be more enjoyable than in front of your new peers.” i concurred with him he was right. My embarrassment would be saved, and i could have a logical thought without being distracted, although with him being here and being as attractive as he is it might be a little hard. “Well youre not wrong.” she sheepishly replied, “i know that you didn’t do it to me on purpose, so i cant blame you, its just because of it that my life has changed for the worst and now takes a sharp turn for the best.” she said reminiscing on the recent events of the day. “Its jsut the shock of seeing you again. And i doubt you remember me, i doubt you remeber the missfire of the spell, the brihgt ball of light that consumed my home and me. It just happened so fast and then i started glowing colors that i thought only a chameleon could turn, i burn anyone i touch when im angry im passionate so sex is non existent and its all because you missfired a spell.” she radiated heat and it was clear to loki that she was bothered and was very frustrated. the elevator dinged and she turned before sucking in a breath one last time. He walked out with her in the suddenly formal attire of a black suit. She chuckled at his attire, since she was only going to the park it felt a little over dressed. They walked out and crossed the street and let eddy get a few good feet in before she turned to a pub and saw the fun they were having, Loki saw this and sympathized. He recollected his memories of when he was outcasted by his brothers friend and was always left only to watch them from the corner drinking his own ale. He watched he chin line turn grey in despair of the emotion she wished to crave which was happiness. She let eddy finish his buisness and turned her head away, she felt lost and outcasted. While Loki thought of when he was unloved she thought the opposite, she thought and remembered when she was loved, when she was social and could hold any conversation with anyone. But now, she was just her a sad girl who could change colors. “ is there any possible way to change me back?” she asked Loki almost entirely predicting shed be disappointed by her answer. “Well, i’m sorry ut since i have no idea what spell i cast, i have no idea how to reverse it.” she nodded. “I’m so sorry, if i wasn't so hellbent on being ruler of all back then maybe you wouldn't be so broken right now.” he said seeking kindness and forgiveness for his past actions. He couldn't forgive himself knowing what he had done to her, it was a spear in his back that aimed towards his past. “Loki it’s quite alright i forgive you, you didn't see the love you had around you, and you are the god of mischief.” Despite finally getting the forgiveness he seeked he didn't understand how she knew his past so well. “Thank you for your forgiveness, but i have to ask how you know this about me? You are fairly new to the tower, and throughout all of our conversation i've never mentioned my past, only yours.” he was right, she shouldn't have revealed so much about what she knew. “Oh Tony gave me all of your case files and my the book i'm currently reading hasn't arrived yet to my room so i read them in place of my book.” this made sense he thought. “ is there any possibility you could help me find what the fuck is wrong with me?” he was surprised at her suddenly colorful language. “ i could ask thor to bring back some of my spell books and search from here, id go there myself but i’m not exactly welcome.” They walked farther through the park, she occasionally adjusting her scarlett red scarf to hide her chin. Her gloves covering her hands made of dark purple leather. He began to admire her every choice in outfit, how carefully she planned to hide herself and yet give her freedom to travel outside of her apartment. He then realized how he had condemned himself to such a thing and how he’d affected her horribly. She reached towards her side feeling a sudden sharp pain. “ are you alright? What happened?” she shook her head towards loki’s questions. “It’s nothing, this type of pain happens all the time, although it’s been getting worse.” her lines across her turned red in anger and pain. He tried to help her in comfort but she swatted him away. “Dont touch you’ll hurt yourself, whenever im red or black i burn the person that touched me.” she stated trying to protect him. He leaned forward again, full well knowing no pain would affect him for the heat only felt good on his frost-giant skin. “You can't affect me” he said finally touching her “you should've read in my file, im not like thor or the captain i’m frost giant, this heat feels good to me.” she looked to his genuine smile and felt safe for a moment. “ now, i’m going to put my hand on the back of your neck and attempt to assess what happened. Okay?” she trusted him, and nodded in response.   
He put his hand on the back of her neck and used what magic he could to find the source of her pain, but he couldn't find any, there wasn't a source at all. It was almost inflicted telekinetically he inferred. “I can't find the source or where the pain ca-” before he could finish his sentence Tony had stopped before them, “Loki we have to go now there’s been a major attack downtown, y/n stay here for your safety.” She agreed silently and watched them both run towards the now loud booms and crashes, she watched a moment longer of them both going towards the noise to watch Loki transform into his battle garment with a small flash of light. She nudged eddy and made a beeline towards the tower. She waved to the secretary who informed her almost all but one had left the tower for their injuries. The elevator ride up was short but long for eddy, he had been wondering where dinner was. She went to her room and opened the door for eddy letting him in and relax she poured him a fresh bowl of water and a mix of wet and dry food. She knew full well that Soc was the type of dog to take his time. She went to the bathroom to keep her mind in place feeling the cold tile against her feet instantly relaxed her. Although her relaxation wasn't for long when she felt another sharp stab to her ribs this time. She grabbed them and squeezed tight in an attempt to dull the pain slightly, it didn't work. The pain only got worse this time, bringing a blinding black once again to the lines that crossed her. She closed the bathroom door and stipped down to her very last layer, to try and cool down. Another lost effort. She was heating up rapidly and she was afraid she would not only hurt herself but completely melt others. The gradient along her arm rose higher and higher to the point of its maximum. She was now laying on the floor, drenched in red, and glowing hot. She had noticed she wasn’t affecting anything around her, nothing but her was melting. Her maximum was met and she began to blacken along her arms, this was not good, very not good. She clenched everything she could in an attempt to dilute the pain and it completely stopped. Her gradient in seconds was gone it took her a few minutes too cool down, but everything else was not cooling down at all. The heroes she had met earlier had burst through the door.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! hope you liked it!! here's the color codes :)
> 
> red = anger (extremely hot to the touch  
> orange =curious  
> yellow=happy  
> green=fear/disgust  
> blue=sad  
> purple=confused  
> black=extreme anger (black gradient up the forearm and solid black on chin line.)  
> grey= sorrow/loss  
> white=calm  
> pink =love  
> When in extreme moments of emotion she’ll have a gradient of that color appear on her hands and firearms along with her neck and the tips of her ears


End file.
